Thanks

As you guys know, it's been a difficult year, and there's every reason to believe that it's going to get more difficult. Nevertheless, when I'm not freaking out about not having health insurance OF ANY KIND right now, and when I'm not consumed with anger, and when I'm not overwhelmed in one way or another, I actually feel quite grateful.

I'm grateful that I have skills with which I can support myself, and I'm grateful that so many people (like Bossman, and like a certain publishing company employee I know) have been willing to take a chance on me.

I'm grateful for the unbelievable array of friends I have. It was wonderful (and, in retrospect, heartbreaking) to have so many of them gathered around us for our wedding last year, and it has been even more wonderful to have so many people supporting me through the hell that chunks of this last year have been. Jane (also known as J in the previous blog; I'm going to continue with anonymity, so that's not her name), in particular, has made life bearable. I do not know what I would have done without her.

I'm grateful for my family, especially my brother. Even though my mother is, and always has been, difficult, she and my father have done the very best they could for me, for my brother, and for my sister. Do you like what you see or read here? Thank my parents, because they provided the foundation.

I'm grateful for my yoga practice, even though I haven't practiced much lately. Thanks to my yoga teachers, and to the wisdom of yoga, I have a resource that is literally embodied for me.

I'm grateful for my senses, for the smells and tastes and sounds and sights, for the pictures and words.

I'm grateful to my teachers, and to the people who continue to teach me, generously sharing of themselves. They reinforce the notion that you have to teach it to pass it along, and they inspire me.

Meanwhile, I've got pie dough in the fridge; if you're a baker, you're always bringing dessert (I've been invited to a dinner at Ann's house, along with Jane and another friend of Jane's). I'd thought of taking the pumpkin flan I've made in previous years and putting it on top of some gingerbread, blah blah blah, but it turn's out that Ann wants pie--apple pie, in particular. Now, Ann is a gourmet cook, and I suspected (and Jane confirmed last night) that Ann has been planning for weeks, going through various gourmet food magazines, composing an elaborate menu. So, the way I see it, she wants pie, she gets pie, and I'm happy to provide it.

I also have football on the television--because my high school and the rival high school across the river are playing on Thanksgiving Day for the 100th time, so it's on ESPN2. (Yes, I went to that game when I was in high school.) The head coach for my high school was the other 6th grade teacher when I was in 6th grade. One of the people they interviewed was my high school algebra teacher (and, after I'd left, the head coach). The quarterback for my high school is, I suspect, a relative (son? nephew?) of someone with whom I went to grade school and high school. In a little blow for changing times, they showed the family of one of the kids they just profiled (from the rival school) . . . and the kid's parents are of different races, which, when I was a kid, not so much. Unfortunately, my team is getting shellacked at the moment, despite their unbeaten record. I'll see what they show at halftime--if they profile the towns, which they're likely to do, I'll see my past parade before my eyes on my tv.

I have no idea what's going to happen with the health insurance. Chuck was sullen last night, for the 30 seconds I talked to him. I merely asked if he'd heard back from the company, but he hadn't. He's really screwed--he's got somewhere around a thousand dollars a month of medical expenses, what with his disorder and so on, and he's already living on the edge of financial ruin. So I didn't yell, scream, fulminate, or anything else--I merely asked him to let me know what I needed to do to facilitate reinstatement, then called back the friend to whom I'd been talking. (I'll tell you about that conversation later.)

And you guys? I'm grateful for you, too. Your presence has made this year much more bearable, and your online and offline support has meant a great deal to me. Thanks, friends.