So my friend is "doing" eHarmony. She hasn't been all that pleased by it--of the men up with whom they've hooked her, only a couple have any real potential--but it hasn't been a complete waste of time, either. And, really, if you're single and want to date someone and you're in circumstances that make it difficult to meet potential datees (or should that be date--ees? . . . sounds like a crunchy-granola pharmaceutical: Having trouble getting a social life? Try Date-Eez!), you gotta try something.
So, on a whim, I filled out the eHarmony personality profile to see what they could come up with for me. I did it honestly, too. After you do that, they give you a sort of summary version, one of those things that says "you are x." (You can give them money and get a more detailed version, apparently, but I didn't do that.) If you read the one that came up for me (and if you really want to read it, I'll send it to you; I downloaded the pdf), the person being described is actually kinda okay. If that's really me, well, I'm okay with that. For example, under the category they call "agreeableness" ("taking care of others or taking care of yourself"), the "words that describe me" are fair, considered, collaborative, responsive, sensible, diplomatic, contemplative, indulgent, and rational (I particularly like the juxtaposition of the last two).
Except after I did all this? The final evaluation said, basically, you're too difficult to match with anyone; we fail about 20% of the time, and you're in that group, so thanks for playing, but we won't be able to find anyone who likes you. (The Twisty part of me wonders whether i would have received the same response if I'd filled it out exactly the same except said I'm male; if I could remember my answers precisely, I'd do it just to see.) So, apparently, if I ever want to jump in the dating pool again, I'm screwed. And not in a good way. Which does wonders for me.
On the other hand, I reconnected today with someone with whom I used to work (at the substance abuse place) and we had a delightful afternoon. We dropped off the Flat Nephew pics and then went to Whole Paycheck--she has a vehicle, so I could shop without regard to how much things weighed, which was wonderful--and then we picked up the pics (now I just have to send them off). Then we went to Local Crunchy-Granola restaurant and drank wine and ate buffalo quesadillas and I told her the Narya and Chuck saga, complete, as Arlo would say, with three-part harmony (and best told, and heard, in the presence of fermented beverages). Yeah, okay, I have to go back to croissant heck tomorrow, but I got some time off today, and the trees are turning that bright new green of spring, and it was warm enough, and the sun was out, and I got to see my friend, so things are good. They might suck again tomorrow, or even later tonight, but they were good today. Even if eHarmony thinks I'm hopeless.
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3 comments:
I only know one other woman who has filled out that questionnaire, and she got the same answer as you. Thing is, I would be all over either of you if circumstances permitted, so where does that put me?
I think we have our fans, but they're a select group, and, at least in my case, circumstances--be they geographical, marital, whatever--don't usually permit. That is, it's a much smaller pool of admirers, which means finding one whose actually available and nearby adds to the challenge of the situation. Plus, there's the question of how to meet them--it's not like I'm gonna meet someone at school or church.
or, rather, "who's" actually available.
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