All kinds of interesting bits (in my own head, anyway).
First off, I've been hating my job. Yes, I know, I have mentioned this once or twice (okay, every fucking post), and you're tired of my whining already, but my mini-vacation has helped me realize that I REALLY, REALLY hate my job. There's not much I can do about it, other than continue to get up at the ass-crack of dawn and go to it (the job, not the ass-crack of dawn; unclear referents are a problem, aren't they?), and try to find or invent an alternative. On which I'm working, of course, slowly but surely. As when I finished graduate school, I have no idea what I'm going to do next, and that's somewhat disconcerting, but, on the upside, and unlike the 18 months after grad school, I have regular employment. I don't make enough to live on, and did I mention that I've been hating it?, but at least I have something.
Second, I did go to the jewelry store today. The woman who waited on me had been there the first time I went in, although it took her a little while to remember me and the ring. I pulled the ring out of the pocket of my chef pants and asked her what it would cost to have the diamond removed, without destroying the ring completely, and I said I'd eventually like to put a ruby in it, when I could afford that, because it's my birthstone. She looked a little taken aback and uncomfortable as we chatted around it, until I finally looked her in the eye and said, "My soon-to-be-ex-mother-in-law wants the diamond back." Which made it all clear for her, and elicited a certain amount of . . . compassion, I guess. Anyway, because I have a bezel setting, they're going to have to cut it off, and then rebuild it, in order to preserve the stone and set a different stone in it. She suggested that I set a garnet in it now--because garnets are red, but are WAY cheaper than rubies (the rubies she showed me, just for the hell of it, were $1300 and $2300, while a garnet would be about $50)--and then if/when I can afford to put a ruby in the ring, they can just break the stone and I won't have to have the bezel rebuilt again. I could get the whole thing taken care of for about $200, including the garnet, and I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell Chuck that it's going to cost him $100--it'd cost at least $50 for just removing the stone, and I think he should pay half the cost of rebuilding the setting--but I'm not providing details about what I'm doing. On one hand, I probably shouldn't spend any money on this thing, but it feels kind of important to me, and $100 isn't a lot to pay to have a ring I can wear again--and any red stone, including a garnet, will look quite nice with the gold and rose gold of the ring.
From there, I went to my zen shiatsu session, and that was interesting in a whole other way. For one thing, unlike what I imagine (perhaps inaccurately) to be true with people who have some kind of chronic condition or imbalance, my blockages seem to change from session to session. This is the first time I've gone in right after work, as well, and that might have influenced where the sore spots were. In any case, while I was on my back, it felt like she was working her way through a "surface" pile of crap--the work, the hating of the work, the sleeping on the ground in a tent for four days, the being with someone in a different way (I'd argue that camping with someone for the first time is an adventure in and of itself), the meeting of someone else's friends for the first time, the bullshit associated with the ring and the divorce and such. As is common, we chatted off and on about her life, my life, what we'd been doing, etc. While I was on my stomach, however, for 15 to 20 minutes at the end, and she worked mostly on my back, all conversation ceased, and I could feel her concentration and intensity even as I felt myself releasing/relaxing/realigning/whatever you want to call it. And I definitely felt better when I left than I had felt when I went in, which was the point, after all.
I have several rants or posts in my head--including one on success--but they're going to have to wait.
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3 comments:
Zen Shiatsu works like peeling back onion layers. In some alternative treatments, they go straight for the root cause, which can be too much for the client and create more problems. We strip away layers gently, treating whatever is present and ready to be treated first. It's very cool when, after a few sessions, you can feel that the treatments are getting to deeper layers of imbalance. Maybe that's what you're experiencing, or part of it.
PS Sometimes, when a client is particularly responsive, or there's an especially good practioner-client connection, a single treatment can get through 2-3 layers. Then usually the client feels like crap the next day, dealing with a lot of surfacing issues, and then like a brand-new person the day after.
Hmm . . . that's what might be happening here. She has commented nearly every session on my responsiveness, and I have to say that I really like the work she does; I seem to be responding better to her than to the woman I saw originally, and I couldn't tell you why. This session was perhaps also made more intense by the fact that she'd been fasting (lemon juice and maple syrup and water) for a couple of days and was feeling much clarity. who knows--I do know I'm looking forward to the next session and wondering if I can keep doing this. (In addition to the cost of the sessions--$300 for 5--I've been tipping her substantially each session.)
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