I wish I had something to write that didn't fall into the categories of (a) whining, (b) complaining about work, or (c) reporting more mundane details from my life. Even the so-called epiphanies I've been having are repeats, though occasionally more pithily phrased. (For example, I realized today that, in essence, I'm working 55 hours/week to put Bossman's kids through college. While I'm all for college education, I'm not sufficiently generous to want to fund Bossman's kids' college education.) And I'm torn, too, because the farmers' markets are coming soon, and I'm already at a level of production that requires between 50 and 55 hours a week to accomplish--but i find myself looking at local universities' websites, looking for an administrative job that pays as much as (or, often, more than) I'm making now, and likely for fewer hours and better benefits.
As has become obvious, what I'm doing now was in no way part of the original plan. The bakery work was always a means to an end: my own business, with Chuck to assist with supporting me in various ways while I created and grew the business. But that whole plan has passed on. It is no more. It has ceased to be. It has expired and gone to meet its maker. It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If I hadn't nailed it to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisies. Its metabolic processes are now 'istory. It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PLAN!!
Which means, once again, I need a new one. I know I'm supposed to get the divorce out of the way first--and I intend to spend some time on the financial affidavit this weekend, even though I get NO days off this weekend, which is a wine of a different vintage--but it's difficult to stick with a dead plan, especially one that is so physically taxing and for which I receive, relatively speaking, so little compensation. Triple (maybe even just double) my pay--without doubling my work or responsibilities, and it might be worthwhile. Maintain my pay but cut my hours significantly? Same thing. But long hours plus low pay, eh, not so much. And if I'm pretty sure the plan is dead, then why stick with the means to execute that plan?
4 comments:
If it's any help, you'll probably get more freelance calls from my company soon. We did our annual vendor review yesterday, and S.S. and I sang your praises. People wrote your name down.
Why, yes, that is a HUGE help! for one thing, it means I can go to my boss and tell him I can't afford to work for him for all those hours, because I have more lucrative work.
And thank you and S.S. so much!!
I hope that you are able to make this transition swiftly, now that you've made the decision to do it.ve
I suspect not--in my head, I sort of said that last year was about surviving (in a much more basic sense than usual in our middle-class lives . . .), and this year is about building up the resources--literal and metaphoric--to figure out the next thing and do that. One of the upsides to working so much is that I don't have a lot of time to spend money.
Post a Comment